Bit of nostalgia here for you... Secondary School I.T. WHY?
Secondary School I.T. lessons were just an excuse to do nothing, or catch up in the wasteful hour on homework due in for the next period... well that was the case at my school (also called the Pikey Dump) I remember being taught where to place my fingers on the keyboard I still know that but everything else I learnt from "eating chicken and chips and going on msn" as Afrikan boy would say.
God bless you Year 10 I.T. of doss magic, the throwing of various shit at each other, tasty gossip i.e. figuring out whose going out with who or who got caught with whom dry sexing on the grotty acidic stained 'I Luv Billy 4eva 01' tables in the science rooms and my personal favourite wondering how whats her name managed to "wipe the wrong way" after being told of dubious stains and smells in the cooch department earning her the name 'Feaces Flange' (as she was so kindly dubbed by a friend and I that used to be inseparable.)
However, the best was finally realising the magic of the Internet... searching for stupid things on the net like those ring tone codes you could type into your Nokia 3210, (I had the Ruff Riders Anthem *cough*) actually that was bangin, I want that monophonic kick ring tone back!
This is by far the best of it though, AMAZING. I read it again with fingers toes and hair (platted) crossed in hope it would still be as hilarious as it was when I was 14, and omg YES. I fucking LOVE 'Black People Love Us!' if you have never see it... where've you been and for those of you that have... take a walk down memory lane at some of the sheer genius from this amazing oldschool website.
I wish I had remembered this website when that prick from uni decided to argue with me about the fact that he felt that HE was completely warranted to grope MY hair and give me an S.S. style interrogation on just why my hair was as it is...
"Johnny calls me "da man!" That puts me at ease. It makes me feel comfortable, because I am Black and that's how Black folks talk to one another."
"Sally loves to touch my hair! She always asks me how I got my hair to do this. That makes me feel special. Like I have magical powers!"
"Sally and Johnny are always going on and on about how Tiger Woods changed the face of golf, and the Williams Sisters changed the face of tennis! On and on...like, almost for too long!"
Check the testimonials, nuff people getting upset. I love the slow witted, they're always amusing times.
Remember these...
Friday, 26 June 2009
Lighten the mood a bit
NEDA/ Martyr
Neda is a name that has now become synonymous with those fighting for Mir Hossein Mousavi to be elected. It's the plight that Iranians are faced with should they choose to stand up and speak out for their freedom. It's time for us to wake up from our disturbingly comfortable ignorant stupors and make it our mantle to inform those of us who don't know become more politically aware and in touch with the cultures of others.
Neda was a student and like many young Iranians was gathering with protesters and her father to fight for Iranian political constraints to be relinquished. She was shot down by a hidden sniper (as is now becoming the terrifying trend in Tehran) she symbolised even through peaceful protest defiance against hard line president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.
Ignorance is frighteningly celebrated in western culture and it's horrendous that it takes shocking images like this to make us see beyond our own existences and try and wrap our minds around what life means for other people, I know I'm certainly guilty of not paying enough attention. I want to be fair to our generation in the sense that I remember learning about Vietnam and it taking uncensored media in the 60's to make people of our age stand up, take note and use the tools around them to get the message out there and shine a spotlight on the tragic state of affairs... which was the push for change that was needed.
We can't know everything but we do have the Internet a powerful tool of influence that we use to fill our minds with vacuous Perez filled garbage (admittedly he is a fun to loathe) we could spare some time to do our best to get people talking, to eventually use all our voices to pressurise a government keen on oppression to stop the censorship. Iran is made up of 70% of under thirties who've placed themselves at the forefront of protests to strive for their right to choose better futures.
Great posts on My Fucking Redundancy , ATCN & all over Twitter, The Guardian, BBC. Doing something big or small is still a step in the right direction we don't have to be drastic in order for our unified support to be felt.
RT Set your Twitter location to Tehran & the time to GMT+3.30...up the traffic, create a jam & stop real talk being censored! Wise words from a fellow blogging friend of mine.
R.I.P. you utter LEGEND
Thursday, 25 June 2009
Doctor's Orders 4th Birthday - FREE MIXTAPE
I'll be honest - I don't really like other people that put on hip-hop nights in London. They are usually very trendy west / east london c*nts with cr*p DJs where people are more concerned about their gimmicky look than the actual music.
Rod "Spin Doctor" Gilmore is definitely one of the few exceptions. He has not jumped on any band-wagons and has been putting on quality hip-hop parties for years. Here is a free mixtape he's put together to showcase 4 year birthday of Doctors Orders.
Check the mixtape HERE.
Check details of his birthday celebrations HERE.
01: GUILTY SIMPSON: MAKE IT FAST
02: TIME MACHINE: A MILLION AND 1 THINGS TO DO
03: JEHST: PEOPLE UNDER THE WEATHER
04: CLAUDJA BARRY: LOVE FOR THE SAKE OF LOVE
05: SKINNYMAN: I'LL BE SUPRISED
06: DIAMOND D: THE HIATUS
07: FOSTER SYLVERS: MISDEMEANOR (REMIX)
08: LOVE UNLIMITED ORCHESTRA: STRANGE GAMES AND FUNKY THING
09: TAKE SIX: SPREAD LOVE (REMIX)
10: Q-TIP: LET'S RIDE
11: WAAJEED: PROUD
12: RICH MEDINA: I CRY
13: LORDS OF THE UNDERGROUND: CHIEF ROCKA
14: LEE MCDONALD: WE'VE ONLY JUST BEGUN
15: CROOKLYN DODGERS: CROOKLYN MEDLEY
16: THE ORIGINALS: OH HONEY
Wednesday, 24 June 2009
Bjork - live dvd coming soon...
Björk on iLike - Get updates inside iTunes
I saw this show twice live last year... It was amazing. I'm sure the DVD will be as well.
Monday, 22 June 2009
Sunday, 21 June 2009
Fiddy
50 Cent War Angel LP
Saturday, 20 June 2009
DJ Snips TV - Hip Hop Legends Concert @ BB Kings
Funk Flex presented the Hip Hop Legends part 2 show @ BB Kings in NY. Nice N Smooth, Krs One, Black Moon, Smiff N Wessun, Mc Lyte, Raekwon, Inspectah Deck, Freddie Foxx, Naughty By Nature...... and thats just the people i managed to film. The show was as sick as the line up looks.... enjoy....
Wednesday, 17 June 2009
Trash Metal meets Emo meets Happy Hardcore?
really!??
the meeting of 3 great genres of music, i think you'll agree... wait for the ending.
Saturday, 13 June 2009
Burberry... dry like toast?
I expect WOW...
I expect more from the big guns because I would probably sell a family member to have Mario Testino photograph me every freakin' waking moment of the day. A clear appreciation and cohesive nature with the finer things in life Testino's photography instantly screams unforgettable and iconic.
Perhaps my eyes have been spoilt with crazy Westwood & Galiano flouncy designs that beige makes my pupils feel as though they'll hemorrhage, because for the latest installment from Burberry I'm at a loss for who to blame... Burberry or Testino because the 2008 & 2009 campaign are basically the same thing. DISSAPOINTED. It's just a different shitty celeb I don't much care for gazing wistfully/post coitally into the camera with someone of the opposite sex drenched in sepia or black & white effect and soft focused to the max to appease us. You've already done the near a tree in a beige mac/holding a beige mac shot... why must you insist on regurgitating this again? With everything so beige I feel the need to punch myself in the stomach in order to wake up from a fashion coma. I dig classic but this is just fucking lazy... I can go to Shoe Zone for copy cats and repetition season shit, be imaginative you cunts.
2008
2009
DON'T WASTE MY EYES ON SHIT I CAN DO ON A MAC BOOK YOU PRETENTIOUS FUCKS.
so childish at yet still amusing.
Aurevoir Couture
I know I'm late but I was in the US when this tragedy occurred, so I'm paying my respects now, as should you... also I've done fuck all on fashion in ages. SHAME ON ME.
Bye Bye Lacroix you gave us works of elaborate, ostentatious, flamboyant and magical art!
R.I.P. small business couture... After 22 years of business the French fashion house of Lacroix has announced it cannot pay it's creditors and has had to gracefully bow out.
NOOOOO I desperately wail casting a disapproving eye at my primarni floral summer dress (you know they won't go bust as they pay poor lil indian children 0.06 pence to work their filanges to the bone for our discount garms) all our... well definitely my broke arse can't resist their unethical steals. I didn't even think Lacroix counted as small business couture, I haven't even become enough of a literary G to be able to afford such an opulent statement piece of apparel. I'm gutted.
Favourite of legends such as Dita Von Teese and Sarah Jessica Parker (who used a Lacroix masterpiece wedding gown in a scene in Sex and the City the Movie) It's safe to say a tear to everyone's eye when the recession has finally reached the point of culling the beautiful and necessary! I hear through the grape vine however that he's trying to sort his ish out so we can live in sheer hope that like the phoenix and Jean Grey from X-men, he will rise again... if not burn these images into your retinas yeah.
Honestly... what the hell will we do without amazing designs like this to marvel at!? Who knows who could be next.
Friday, 12 June 2009
Camel Hoof
The sexy picture of Shaniqua the round from the new blogging times iz getting involved with won't load so I thought I'd give you a taste of the shannanigans that will be taking place on http://camelhoof.blogspot.com/ by using Dick as a helpful illustration, ironic as it's all about the vagggee at camel hoof...
Think Mary J circa 92 the Real Love video and all that was oh so right with the world then... It's all about real talk from womens with potty mouths and opinions to make Charlie Brooker wish we were all his illegitimate daughters... oh and stuff about chicken- Moreleys, Sams and the one we met your dad in.
Safe.
Thursday, 11 June 2009
New Mos Def album...
is out now and it's very good. Go cop it.
Mos Def - Flowers - The Ecstatic avail 6/9/09
Monday, 8 June 2009
Saturday, 6 June 2009
Michael Cera... I would.
Might have to write another letter... Michael Cera, I DEFINITELY would.
After he played a baby daddy in Juno I started following his video blog thing that he used to do with Clarke Duke (who plays hilarious devout patriot & devout christian Dale in 'Greek'. He's also that guy in Superbad at the end of the party scene that says Fogel is a badass, his own lil cameo). He then gave me Superbad so It's a done deal he's on my list.
I've hit a few snags in the road though... I hear on some trashy gossip site that Michael Cera is going out with the chinese girl who is the stoner in Knocked Up... her face may not be all that but the bitch does magic tricks and games as part of her stand up comedy... argh. NEED TO STEP UP MY GAME! I'll tell her Matt LeBlanc is actually a comedic genius and that 'Joey' wasn't a steaming pile of turd and he's the one she should date.
Looking at the picture below it hasn't escaped my notice that feelings for him are unsettling, given that he looks about 12... whateves, if R kelly can get away with grooming and marrying Aaliyah at 15, so can I!... trus.
Making awkward advances at me, being geeky, playing the guitar and singing for me. yes. You and me Cera we'll build a beautiful life together. "I used to want a capuchin monkey now all I want is him"- thats what I'll say when we get married
So disappointed to be leaving NYC before this comes out... Jack Black and Michael Cera Year One out June 19th looks JOKES... I'm sure I saw Mclovin in the crowd & Paul Rudd (Anchorman- Brian Fantana), can't wait!
Gnarlyyyyyy
This girl is fucking cool... I want to be your friend bitch... teach me how to skate so I can marry Pharrell and have Lupe Fiasco's babies...
Personally, I would have chosen 'Kick Push' as the background track to showcase ma skillz and done more incredible flips whilst holding a puppy or something but obviously this is the cosmos waiting for me to learn so I too can have a gnarly video that Tony fucking Hawk can comment on... she's the first girl to enter the 'shredding' comp, sick.
I wanna be a Sk8board G.
Jigga
Ahhhh amazing - "you rappers singing too much, get back to rap, you t-paining too much" literally amazing. About time the Death of Autotune came round, and there couldn't be anyone better to write it's obit without a pen... lets face autotune has been harshly rinsed, now may it R.I.P.
its like 8 am and I'm like already 2 hrs too late as every blog is raping this but its Jigga, how can I not show some respect... also after being in NY these past few weeks I literally have fallen way more in love with him, I lust Jigga... BK they go hard.
D.O.A. (Death of Autotune) is produced by Kanye West & No I.D. but apparently the single that's to emerge this July from Blueprint 3 (which is set to be released September 11th) is going to be featuring Drake called 'Off That'- blog stalking tweet stalking just to keep you all in the know... the sun is shining the music is sweet!
love love love from NYC, ENJOY ;) x