Free Cunnilingus... I didn't realize he was in prison?

Leslie George Kistner III sis offering a full lip service, so to speak, for attractive ladies.
He will basically eat your cooch for free! have a look! HERE


Don't get me wrong, I like to taste the lady fruits myself (did Prince not teach us anything?!)
but this takes the biscuit, further more... what women needs it that bad??

Free Chocolate Cake...

So said the sign in the pub window.

Partial as I am to the occasional slice of chocolate cake, and never one to overlook the prospect of a gratis acquisition, I was immediately transfixed by the simplicity of its nature. Where can I cash in my just deserts? Who is offering these chocolaty delights?

It was only after a truly brutal spell of ponderable pensiveness that the clarity of the situation became apparent. Observe, if you will, the sight which i beheld:


And now for my quandary...

Why on earth are the vowels written the right way around, yet the consonants appear as though seen in a mirror?

Was this, in fact, written by two separate people, one in the warmth of the pub with a chinagraph pencil and the relatively easy task of assembling the vowels, while his chum is in the street, dodging the crack smoking lamb's leg thief (another story entirely), jotting up the chilly consonants?

Maybe it's a new craze sweeping the nation, a new pub game, the bastard offspring of Scrabble and Battleships?

Anyone who can provide me with the answer to ease this burden from my mind, i will give you a slice of Free Chocolate Cake.